Takla Hatela ya Lamba Khamba?

Read this very interesting article re: how the underworld has rechristened Bollywood. In an attempt to confuse anti-piracy cells in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Dubai, Malaysia and Bangkok, 'bhais' have come up with new nicknames for actors and actresses, based largely on recent roles or makeovers.

Here's the list decoded/unearthed by the Police

The Men

- Chyawanprash: Amitabh Bachchan (after the brand he endorses)
- Takla Hatela: Salman Khan (recently went bald)
- Jhakaas Mamu: Anil Kapoor (his favourite word is jhakaas)
- Chhe Ungli ka Kamaal: Hrithik Roshan
- Chikna Kaana: Saif Ali Khan
- Neta ka abhineta or Political hero: Riteish Deshmukh
- Jawani ka Viagra: Aamir Khan (looks young for his age)
- Junior Daadhi: Abhishek Bachchan (thanks to his ever-present stubble)
- Booddha Hakla: Shah Rukh Khan (K…k…k…Kiran?)
- Kavla hakla: Shahid Kapur (the aspiring SRK)
- Satkela AK-47 or Munnabhai: Sunjay Dutt
- Kala Ghoda: Ajay Devgan
- Dhai Kilo ka Hero: Sunny Deol (‘dhai kilo’ dialogue in Damini)
- Charsi Punter: Fardeen Khan
- Bawa Model: John Abraham (he’s half Parsi)
- Chumma Jumma: Emraan Hashmi (Mr Lucky Lips)
- Pakaau hero: Akshaye Khanna
- Garam Masala: Akshay Kumar (his latest comedy)
- Anna: Suniel Shetty
- Circuit House: Arshad Warsi
- Paaji ka bachhda: Bobby Deol
- Hatela Nana: Nana Patekar

The Women

- Black Beauty: Bipasha Basu
- Kajrawali: Aishwarya Rai
- Chhipkali: Urmila Matondkar
- Item bomb: Mallika Sherawat
- Boodhi Ghodi Lal Lagam: Rekha (never say die)
- Carrom Board: Priyanka Chopra (eh?)
- MMS item: Kareena Kapoor
- Shaani Batli: Rani Mukerji
- Dimple: Preity Zinta
- Lamba Khamba: Shilpa Shetty
- Khallaas Baby: Isha Koppikar
- Mota rola: Manisha Koirala
- Universe ka Pataka: Sushmita Sen